In English class, we had to write a narrative essay. The professor directed us to tell a story about one moment in our life. I struggled with picking the right topic, but I chose the one most vivid and recent for me. I thought it was too personal and that no one would understand it, but in the end, I earned a 96 grade! ..which was the highest grade I have ever earned on a paper. Especially under such a strict professor, that grade was unbelievable!! This essay is based off a true story.
A Music Video Worth Playing Again
With an emotionless face, I sat alone in an empty room. The room was once my office but had been completely stripped of its features. The items were all packed into boxes for my big move into the next chapter in my life. Staring out of the window, I watched the rain pour down, dripping from the leaves of the old oak trees. His academic year started much earlier than mine and rain had fallen every day since he had left for school, a total of six weeks. Even though the room was of moderate temperature, I felt cold and broken. My heart was heavy with sorrow but the feeling was bittersweet. I wore his old jacket made of soft cotton with a blue and gray plaid print. The fabric hardly smelled of his cologne anymore. The bedroom shoes he gave me would stick out four inches past my feet, but I wore them everywhere anyways. I was wearing them, as my feet were propped up on the box that sat under the window. All of the memories played through my head like scenes from a movie. The past few months had created the best summer of my life. The time we spent together was everything I had dreamed of, my fairy tale. I still did not understand why he had changed his mind and why he had to leave. Love is one of the most beautiful essence of humanity but it can also be one of the most tragic and mysterious lessons of life.
Tears welled up in my eyes when I thought of the moments we stood in the beauty of the night. Every night we listened to the crickets sing, smelled the warm summer air, and were surrounded by the light show of fireflies. His smile was always so perfect and so true. The look in his eyes was indescribable when he would speak to me with the sweetest voice. Our conversations would sometimes last for hours. Each time he paused in the conversation with a grin, I always asked what was on his mind. He would always say, “We are in a music video.” We shared many moments feeling like we were in a music video, and they only continued to grow sweeter.
A couple years before we met, he got his life straight morally and spiritually. One day he went to his parents and told them he felt a calling from God. He knew he was destined to go to one specific school. There he would learn and grow into the person he was intended to be. Unfortunately, the school was many hours away from home. After a year at the school he was not sure if becoming a minister is what he wanted in life. His passion was in music but his peers discouraged him from changing his major. Half of a semester later, he was losing his faith and came home for spring break. He and I met and he did not return for the second half of the term.
Through the summer, we had both chosen the schools we would attend in the fall. He changed his career path and chose a college much closer to mine. I was filled with excitement knowing that he would only be two hours away. I had planned places we could go together when we got settled in and all the fun we would have. He eventually began to seem somewhat quiet when I spoke about my plans, but in the beginning I thought nothing of it. Deep within his heart, there was something he was not telling me.
College, for him, was only a couple weeks away though I still had to wait six weeks. One day, he came to me with tears in his eyes. Without giving me the time to recognize the situation he began to chant, “I feel a tug on my heart, a tug pulling me back to my calling. A request such as this cannot be ignored.” At that point, I was confused about what exactly it was he was telling me. When I began to understand his point in telling me such news my mind was completely blank, and then with utter selfishness I was stricken with anger. Anger of knowing I was losing my love to God. To me, God was only a supernatural being. I did not understand and I did not know what loving God was like. When I was able to get my thoughts and words together I asked, “When do you have to leave?” His answer was only one word. Only one word, so little, made the most pain and heart break. His one word answer was, “tomorrow.”
The next twenty-four hours we spent inseparable. Though we promised each other we wanted to make every minute count, smile and be happy, we could not look at each other without letting our tears fall. The last few minutes I had with him, we held each other closer than ever before. I forced all the tears back for I knew he had to go. Fulfilling his calling was important to him and I had to be strong. The wind wisped the leaves as we slowly danced under the shade. With a quiver in my voice, I began to sing our song, “I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz, softly to him as my profession of trust in him. At the thought of the words he became weak at his knees, and the tears soaked my shoulder. The last moment I recall seeing him was the reflection of his car in my rear view mirror going the opposite direction.
He was able to change his major into the music ministry like he wanted. I could not have been happier for him, but the following weeks were difficult for the both of us. He wanted to come home, and I did not disagree. His calls began to come less often, which made me billow with bitterness every day. He knew it would only get worse. On his last call he told me, “It’s not our time,” in a way to give ease to our broken hearts. “You will never be alone,” he promised. “God will always be with you.” At the time, the statement was more of an insult to me, but I simply ignored it. We finished our conversation with “I love you,” and hung up the phone. That call marked the end.
I sat there, in the empty room, alone, thinking of how my life had changed since the day he left. I began to fall in love with music that he had left for me. I began to appreciate things I had not noticed before. My attitude and maturity changed. I became a different person. Most importantly, though, I found God for myself. Even though I hoped and prayed our relationship one day would be restored, I did not regret him having to leave. I would not be the same person if he had not left. Through all the special moments of passion and the trials of heartache, I learned more about my own life than I had ever before. Love can truly change a person.
